It's been years since Jim looked at Blair and felt that tightening of muscle, that shift of blood as his body prepared itself to pounce, ravish -- or hell, given the assured way Blair approaches sex, roll over, spread.
damped down the flames, extinguished the fire
-- they're friends now; pure and cool, this emotion, strong, like
has been enough for a long time, and he's
learned to be happy about the fog of stink surrounding Blair when he
from a date, skin dirtied with alien prints and kisses, eyes sleepy,
risky to push Blair into more than they can
handle; too dangerous to risk losing him, the way Carolyn slipped from
grasp. Jim knows he's not easy to live with; knows he's got habits
wouldn't appreciate. What a friend will accept, a lover will rage over.
hurt Blair before, easily, thoughtlessly, and been wounded in return;
damage they could inflict if they...God, no.
clouded by sex withheld, used as a weapon,
a bribe; compromises fuelled by lust and need, dignity lost... Jim
he's turned away, doused lust and longing -- and
after all, Blair as a friend isn't second best. No way.
Blair turns to him one day, laughing, his head
tilted back, the line of his throat exposed, and he's close enough that
smell the heat of his skin, see the roughness of lips a summer sun has
hear the sweet thud of each heartbeat.
ashes, dead, gray, light as dust.
Just embers, waiting for a breath to rekindle them to life, make them spark and burn.
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