Fuck. He'd known it would happen eventually, given the way Sandburg
played the field, but the wounded, accusing look in Sandburg's eyes as
the loft door was slammed by his departing date still hit hard.
Because there were rules.
Not Sandburg's weird rules about windows and forgiveness and all that
shit, but proper rules, guy rules, rules Jim could
see shining brightly in letters a foot high.
One of them being, "Thou Shalt Not Call Your Roommate's Girlfriend By
The Wrong Name."
"I don't believe you did that!"
"Look, I'm sorry, Sandburg, but --"
And he was. Little bit, anyhow. More because of the rule breaking than
the results, because Sandburg was really fucking pushing it here.
The words spilled out despite his best intentions. "Dating her best
friend, Chief? You really thought that was going to end well?"
"I wasn't dating --" Sandburg pushed his hands
through his hair and took a deep breath. "Thanks, Jim. Thanks for
fucking up tonight. Thanks for making me look this
big in front of someone I work with and
see daily, and thanks for assuming I'm an asshole."
"Well, aren't you?" Jim asked. Okay, he was on a roll here… "Dating
her, I mean, not an…" Hell with it. "You know what, Chief? You
are an asshole! You've got Susan --"
"Suzanne."
"Whatever. You've got Susie panting at your heels,
hot to trot --"
"Man, and you wonder why you haven't scored lately."
"And she's nice, okay?" Jim steam-rollered on, ignoring the
all-too-true jab. "Brain-dead for taking a shine to you, but nice, and
you blow her off to chase her friend because it's like this big game to
you, right? And you think you can get away with anything,
abso-fucking-lutely anything because you're cute."
He put enough venom into the final word to make it taste bad in his
mouth and gave up. Blair was Blair and what did he care anyway? He
headed for the door.
"I'm going out."
"You're not going anywhere."
Jim turned back and discovered that Blair had crossed the room really
fast and was crowding him up against the closed door. What the
fuck?
"Sandburg… do we have a problem here? Hey!"
His head hit the back of the door as Blair shoved him hard, and he
winced. Okay, that had hurt. Not as much as Blair would have wanted it
to, judging by the look in his eyes, but enough. And the finger
drilling into his shoulder was another source of pain.
"She's gay, Jim. Got that? Not Suzanne, her friend. You know her name,
right? Yes, you do, don't you?"
"Sarah," Jim supplied glumly, already filling in the blanks.
"And she's got this… this thing for Suzanne and it's
never going to happen." Blair sounded definite about that. Jim supposed
he'd know. "And, yes, it's slightly weird trying to get at Suzanne
through me and I'm well aware of that weirdness, but I wanted to help.
And now -- oh, man, I gotta call her…" Blair's finger stabbed at him
again. "And you? You can stay; I'm not done with you yet."
"Fine." Jim held up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry, okay?"
"Save it." Blair picked up the phone, called Sarah, and began a
low-voiced conversation Jim didn't try to listen to after that first
anguished wail of horror echoed down the line. By the time Blair hung
up, Jim's skin was crawling with embarrassment.
"Is she really planning on moving out?"
Blair sighed. "I'm going over there," he said. "And if your ears start
burning, you know why."
Jim winced as the door slammed. Okay. Not his most shining hour but
Blair could be pretty convincing at times. If something could be
salvaged from the wreck, he'd manage it…
Blair was gone long enough for Jim to have gotten slightly drunk,
swallowing the beer initially as a melancholy duty, a wake to
shot-to-pieces relationships, and later because it spread a pleasant
numbness through the squirm of guilt.
Which dissolved when Blair came through the door at midnight, looking
dejected and tired.
"Man, I've talked and talked," he said without
preamble.
Jim stood, swayed, and got himself together. "Wouldn't listen?"
"Oh, they listened." Blair gave him a narrow-eyed look that managed to
count all the dead soldiers on the table. "You're going to hate
yourself in the morning."
"Already do now."
Blair pursed his lips, looking puzzled. "You know, Jim, you're a nice
guy, but you're taking this to heart more than I'd have expected. What
gives?"
"I spoiled things," Jim said heavily. "For you. With…" He couldn't
remember the name of the girl Blair had been dating but he knew he
wouldn't be able to say anything beginning with 'S' without slurring.
"Her. Both of them."
That got him a dismissive hand wave. "Oh, they're fine. I left them
crying."
"Crying? Chief, that's… that's awful." He hiccupped, which made him
feel drunker than he was. Because he wasn't. Was he?
"Nah; girls like crying." Blair shrugged. "They'll probably end up
snuggled in bed, eating ice cream."
"What?" Jim considered what Blair had said, wondering if a sentence or
two had gone astray between Blair's mouth and his ear. "No," he said
aloud. "'M a Sentinel. I don't miss stuff."
"No, you don't." Blair appeared at his side and eased him down onto the
couch. "Who said you did?"
"I don't know," Jim said. "I think it was me."
"You're way drunker than you should be, you know." Blair frowned at
him. "Tomorrow, we're going through everything you've eaten, touched…
I'm thinking some sort of reaction --"
"No." Jim shook his head and forgot to stop shaking it until Blair's
hand smacked the side of it and jolted him out of the mesmerizing
rhythm. "Just feel… guilty. I made you miss out on a date. Got you in
trouble." He stared at Blair. "Sorry, Chief."
"Doesn't matter." Blair hunched one shoulder dismissively. "I'd have
spent more than I could afford on a meal and had sex wondering if Sarah
could hear us. Not a big deal."
'Sex?" Jim blinked. "You were going to have sex?"
"Well… yeah." Blair grinned. "Do I need permission?"
"No, no, of course not, no, no, not at all." Jim took a deep breath.
"No."
"Glad we've got that cleared up."
"Why would they be in bed together?" Jim asked abruptly.
"Women do that," Blair said, sounding sure of himself. "They do this
snuggling, giggling thing and they sleep together because they don't
want to stop talking. Plus, they were arguing and crying and they want
to reaffirm their bonds as friends. Did I mention Suzanne gave me the
let's be friends speech?"
It didn't sound very likely to Jim, but Blair was an anthropologist and
he supposed the guy knew about stuff like this. He thought about
offering some sympathy about the break up but what the hell; it
happened to Blair all the time. The guy had to be used to a brush-off
by now, giving and getting. "We don't do that. Snuggle and cry."
Blair snickered. "Well, no…"
"We're men," Jim said, tapping Blair's knee to get the point across.
"We fight and we just… stop and get back to normal."
"Something like that."
Blair didn't seem able to stop smiling, but Jim didn't mind. Blair
looked… what had he called him earlier? Cute. Yeah. Cute, with his eyes
twinkling and his lips curved up. "You look cute."
"Whoa there, buddy."
Jim waved his hand, dismissing Blair's protest. "No, we're friends, I
can say that." He gave Blair a questioning look. "I can, right?"
"Sure," Blair said agreeably. "Knock yourself out."
"And I'm going to make this up to you," Jim went on, fuzzily determined
to do what he could. Breaking guy rules… that was bad. "Tomorrow. Take
you out to dinner. On me. Somewhere nice."
"Uh, Jim…"
"The sex, well…."
"Jim!"
He hadn't known Blair's voice could get that squeaky.
"No, Chief, relax. I'm not offering." He smiled and realised he was
patting Blair's knee now. "Not really equipped, am I?"
"Well, you've got a mouth and two hands," Blair said matter-of-factly.
"And a -- no, we'll just leave it at that. But you
could." He gave Jim a seraphic smile. "I just don't
want you to."
Jim would always blame the allergic reaction he didn't have for what he
said next. Or a stung pride. "Why not?"
Blair leaned in and gave him a hug. "Because you're very, very drunk,
Jim," he whispered in Jim's ear, his breath warm. "And when I said you
were going to hate yourself in the morning, I want it to be because of
the hangover, not the disastrous sex with me."
"It would be a disaster, wouldn't it?"
That got him a sigh that tickled his ear and then Blair drew back.
"With you this drunk? Sadly, yes. Although your inhibitions would be
down… hmm…no, it wouldn't be fair."
"I meant --" Jim floundered to a halt. "Sober. Drunk. Still guys,
Chief." That hadn't always been an issue for him, but Blair…
"It's not a problem for me."
Jim couldn't think of anything to say that didn't start with a splutter
and include the word 'what' too many times to leave room for anything
else.
"I didn't. Know. Didn't know that, Blair."
"You do now," Blair said. He stood up and held out his hand to Jim.
"I'm going to crash and you should, too. Come on."
Jim let himself get hauled up, his mind dizzy with beer and trying
desperately to re-examine every single thing Blair had ever said or
done in the dazzling light cast by six casual words. He took one step,
still holding Blair's hand, tripped over the edge of a rug, and went to
his knees with a thud.
"Oh, man…" Blair muttered from a long way up.
Jim leaned his forehead against Blair's thigh. Warm and solid under a
thin layer of denim. He exhaled, feeling the air leave his mouth, and
sink into the barrier of fabric and skin like an extension of his
fingers. His breath damped the denim down and the next breath he took
tasted of Blair, richly complex and male in a way he couldn't label
indefinable because he could break it down if he tried, but why bother
when it was easier to just turn his head a little and nuzzle curiously
against the source of the smell…
Blair's fingers tightened painfully around Jim's. "Stop it. Please,
Jim. Not a good idea." He sounded breathless, all amusement fled.
Jim mouthed and bit at the compressed, soft squash of Blair's balls.
These jeans were too tight. They were the ones Blair wore to show off
an ass Jim had always found eye-catching. They were doing a good job of
highlighting other assets, too.
"Jim!" The strangled protest became a moan and Blair swayed in place,
pushing forward a crucial inch or two and not moving back because Jim's
free hand had gone, instinctively, to cup that showcased ass and he was
trying harder to keep Blair in place than Blair was trying to escape.
"Let me make it up to you," Jim said, the words tangled because his
tongue was tracing the column of Blair's cock, trapped and angled
awkwardly. His senses were fluctuating wildly, sometimes off the scale,
sometimes switched off, so that when his tongue reached the tip of
Blair's cock, all he could hear was the rasp of his drying tongue on
denim, nothing else, and all he could taste, for a single, frustrating
moment, was the soapy tang of detergent.
He growled, feeling the vibration in the back of his throat, and tried
very hard to get Blair's zipper down with his teeth, which proved
beyond him.
"Easy, Jim." He felt Blair's hand caressing his head and the side of
his face. "I want to, okay? You can see that for yourself, can't you?
Man, am I going to kick myself if you've changed your mind tomorrow,
but I can't. You're just out of it."
Jim sighed and rocked back on his heels, staring down at Blair's socks
and following the weave of the wool, losing himself in it. Loop and
purl and knit and --
The socks disappeared from view as Blair got down on his knees and
kissed him, his mouth gentle enough that Jim surfaced gradually,
smoothly.
"Bed," Blair said. "And by that I mean sleep."
"Sleep with me," Jim said. He saw Blair's doubtful expression and shook
his head. "Just sleep. If you're there when I wake up, it'll be easier.
I want it to be easy. Want this. Want you."
"You'll feel like hell," Blair prophesied gloomily. "And you'll bite my
head off as soon as I open my mouth."
Jim ran his finger over Blair's mouth, feeling the shape of it,
learning it. "Depends what you're opening it for."
Blair's eyes widened and then he grinned, a sunrise grin, a happy grin.
"Okay. It's a date."
Jim struggled to his feet. Blair managed it in half the time, still
grinning.
"I don't want it to be a date," Jim said when they reached the bathroom.
"You've changed your mind, already?" Blair picked up Jim's toothbrush,
carefully not looking at him, and anointed it with a squeeze of paste.
"No. You date someone and they're history, you're gone." Jim opened his
mouth and let Blair shove his toothbrush in, though he took over the
actual brushing himself. He wasn't that drunk. "I don't want you gone."
He waited for Blair to say something reassuring but got silence
instead. He spat and rinsed and turned his head. "Blair?"
"It's the toothpaste," Blair said, pointing at an
ingredient list written so small he had to squint. "Jim, you bought
this, not me. Didn't you check it? It's got cinnamon in it!"
"It was on special," Jim said weakly.
Blair snorted and dropped the tube in the trash. "Well, it's getting
into your bloodstream as we speak and getting really friendly with the
alcohol."
"Friendly's good, Chief," Jim said, fishing blatantly, because he had a
horrible feeling that Blair was right and he was running out of time
before he passed out. The bathroom was doing a carousel imitation.
"Friendly's good," Blair agreed, steering them toward the stairs. Which
were undulating gently. "But I know something that's better."
"Me making it up to you?"
"You're still bothered about that?" Blair's hand slipped down a crucial
few inches and patted Jim's ass. "I'm not."
"Doesn't matter," Jim said firmly, back on solid ground again. "Rules
are rules."
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