"Do you know what this middle candle is called?" Blair traced the
central holder of the menorah, set a little higher than the ones that
flanked it, four on each side. Only one other held a candle, on the far
right of the menorah.
"I don't," Jim admitted. He knew the history behind the menorah in a
vague way -- something about the oil lasting for eight days, not one --
but he wasn't sure of the details. He didn't even try bluffing and
pretending that he knew more than that; not with Blair.
"It's the shamash," Blair said. "It's the candle
used to light the other candles as they're added, one more each night.
It means 'helper' or 'servant'."
"Okay," Jim said after a moment. Blair lit the shamash. The flame
leaped high, like a joyful shout,
and then settled down to burn steadily, a bright point of light in the
dim loft. "Are you going somewhere with this, Chief?"
Blair used the shamash to light the first candle and
then stepped back from the window where he'd placed the menorah, his
face serene.
"Not really. I just -- it's what I do for you."
"Help me?" Jim dismissed the servant part. Blair had more excuses for
skipping his turn to do the dishes than anyone Jim had ever met. He
smiled, made generous by the moment. He'd expected to feel awkward, out
of place as Blair chanted softly before lighting the candles on the
first day on Hanukkah, reciting a short prayer, but it had been oddly
moving. Blair had looked so contented, the light in his eyes pure
happiness. "Yeah, you do. A lot. More than I ever expected you could. I
owe you."
Blair nodded. "Thanks."
The flames were small, but Jim stretched his senses so that he could
feel the heat beat like a tapping finger against his face; hear the
hiss of wax melting and see the rainbow of colors captured in the
golden light. Beautiful.
He turned his head slowly, reluctantly, and met Blair's gaze. He'd said
enough, he knew, even with those few stilted words; Blair didn't look
expectant or disappointed, but Blair deserved more than that, so much
more.
Jim cleared his throat. "Blair --"
"You shine," Blair said matter-of-factly. "A light in the darkness." He
touched his fingertips to Jim's cheek, where the candlelight had warmed
it. "I help you do that."
Jim covered Blair's hand with his own and held it against his face for
a moment. "I couldn't do it without you."
And the light in Blair's eyes leaped high, sang out, just as the
shamash had.
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