Vulcans Like Spinach

by Jane Davitt

"So that's it? Your main objection is its color? Jim, Jim…I'm disappointed in you. Talk about unthinking biases. I suppose you don't like Kermit either? Or Spock?"

"Don't go there, Sandburg. I just don't like the way it looks. I can't help that. It's just a really horrible color."

"Are you telling me that as a Sentinel, you can see an evil aura attached to certain colors? Because that's something I'd really like to explore. Does it work on people, too? Can you see a glow around me? Maybe if I stand over here by the window?"

"Sandburg. I'm warning you."

"No, seriously, this could be important. Maybe when kids say they don't want to eat their greens, they're tapping into this huge, evil vibe hovering around spinach, and -- ow, ow, stop it!"

"I warned you."

"The hair's off limits, man, you hear me?"

"So is accusing me of being prejudiced against green. Green is fine. I like green. Give me a tree and I'll hug it. Give me some nice green dollars for back rent and I'll hug <i>you</i>."

"Naomi would be so proud of the good influence I've been."

"But your algae shakes aren't green, they're sludge."

"I could make them brown? There's a kelp version that would look a lot like --"

"Oh God, no."


"Not where my mind went, Chief."

"You know what? It's a toast kind of morning."




"Do they have a good aura around them?"

"Yours might, Chief; me, I'll go for butter and syrup, hold the aura."

"Both in the yellow end of the spectrum…interesting. No! No, Jim! Put the syrup down! Not in my hair, I'll never get it out. I swear I won't say another word about auras -- and by the way, man, yours is this weird purple-red this morning, sort of a mix of anger and love -- Oh, fuck."

"Warned you."

"Now I have to shower."


"My pancakes will get cold."

"You got some prejudice against cold, Sandburg? What, something has to be sizzling hot to meet with your approval? Why are you staring at me and grinning like that? Oh, fuck, I've got algae shake on my face, haven't I?"

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