Bend it Like Buffy




Spike sat in his crypt, contemplating the delights ahead in the shape of assorted monster movies. Being scary himself, they made him laugh rather than cower behind his chair. It took a lot to spook a vampire who had been the Scourge of Europe in his day. The goriest slasher movie just made his tummy rumble and sent him in search of nibbles, and the pitiful attempts of humans to scare each other made him nostalgic for the time when he could have women fainting dead away simply by introducing himself.

A thud against the crypt door did startle him though. Moving cautiously, he glided over to his weapons chest and took out his favourite axe, tucking a stake in his back pocket just in case. Easing open the door, he looked out at emptiness. His gaze slowly travelled down and he cocked his head in bewilderment. Bending, he examined the object on his doorstep.

Bright orange. Round. Gaping holes for eyes, snaggle toothed and oozing sticky goo.

"What the hell is a Derrion demon doing this far south?" Spike muttered.

Ten minutes earlier.

Buffy had gone on patrol out of habit. This was Halloween, the one night of the year that the real ghoulies and beasties gave way to the human sort. She had been on her way home when the demon attacked her, his stalk like arms reaching out blindly, his hate-filled eyes blazing at her.

Buffy danced around the graves like a wind blown leaf, vowing never again to come on patrol with only a few measly stakes. She was getting seriously out of breath here. Glancing around, she saw that Spike's crypt was a few hundred yards away. He would have weapons and he was bound to be in, tonight of all nights. She chewed her lip. Asking Spike for help would put her at such a disadvantage. She'd never hear the end of it.

Summoning all her strength, she leapt up on a tombstone and launched a scything kick at the demon's head. To her surprise, it popped off easily, spraying her with orange goop and brains. As she gaped in astonishment, the head flew through the air, soaring high and landing with a thump. Buffy shrugged. She couldn't be bothered to find it. She was going home to shower.

Maybe she'd knock on a few doors on the way and get some candy. Looking like this, who needed a costume?


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