Iâm older, Giles reminds himself. Wiser,
more experienced. Itâs doing him a favour to point out how ridiculous
heâs being, persisting in this absurdity that heâs Buffyâs
Watcher.
He watches Wesleyâs face tighten with what he imagines is hurt as he
carries on talking to him, stripping away the pleasure the man must
have felt when Buffy grudgingly admitted that heâd improved her
crossbow proficiency by suggesting a change in her stance. The
stance I taught her...
“- and Iâm sure, were you to report back to the Council, recommending
my reinstatement, theyâd not take it as a failure on your part. Letâs
be sensible, Wesley; youâll never get Buffy to accept your authority -
and Faithâs a lost cause. You see, Quentin was quite wrong. Iâm not
hampered by feeling an understandable affection for Buffy, not at all.
It means she listens to me, it means -”
“It means that when she dies, youâll grieve on a personal, as well as a
professional level,” Wesley says. “It means that youâve forgotten sheâs
but one in a line that will never be broken. It means youâve lost the
ability to use her as a weapon because you fear that sheâll...break.”
His eyes are cold now. “I rather think youâve become a liability, Mr
Giles. One thatâs making my job more difficult than it need be.”
“Bollocks,” Giles says, resorting to crudity. “Youâre doing that for
yourself by the way you act around them both. Theyâre Slayers; theyâre
strong. They need to be guided by someone who doesnât simper and beg.”
Wesley nods. “I couldnât agree more. That theyâve mistaken courtesy and
an initial, understandable nervousness for weakness is entirely my
fault. Iâve taken steps to address that.”
Thereâs a dark amusement in Wesleyâs voice and Giles frowns. “What
steps?”
“Well, you know,” Wesley says softly, taking a step forward, “thatâs
really none of your business, now is it? My training methods might be a
little unorthodox - or perhaps archaic is a better description - but I
can assure you theyâre all as set down in the handbook. Which, in
passing, you should have returned to the Council by now. Itâs not meant
to be issued to civilians.”
Giles knows what Wesley means and he closes his eyes against the images
of Buffy - and Faith - bodies worked to the point of pain; pain applied
with a careful precision and a specific goal. “How did you get them to
agree to...that?” he says, feeling the words rasp harshly against his
dry mouth.
“By not bothering to ask their permission,” Wesley says, with a casual
glance at his watch. “Theyâll have finished todayâs session soon enough
and Iâm sure youâll make your shoulder available to be wept upon.”
“This isnât going to happen, Wesley,” Giles says slowly. “I wonât allow
it.”
“Wonât allow the Council appointed Watcher to train his Slayers using
methods proven to be efficacious, if a little...stringent? Endanger two
young women by mollycoddling them, deferring to them, forcing them to
do your job as well as theirs?” A dark eyebrow lifts. “Really, Rupert,
one would almost suspect that you were doing your best to get them
killed, were it not for all this boundless affection youâre so fond of
parading.”
“I do care for them,” Giles says, his voice flat. “Faithâs troubled of
course, but -”
“Faithâs a true Slayer,” Wesley says coldly. “Pure killer, responsive
to authority - an authority youâve failed to provide - and once a
tendency to be reckless is trained out of her sheâll be a credit to me.
Buffy, on the other hand -”
“Sheâs special! Sheâs achieved so much -”
“Indeed she has. Saved the world, slain no end of vampires and assorted
beasts; pity she died so soon after you arrived, but at least she came
back to life; close call, hmm? And letâs not forget her penchant for
falling in love with vampires and fucking the soul right out of them so
they go on a killing spree and try to end the world.”
“Are you quite finished?” Giles says, biting out the words.
“Nearly...” Wesley stares at him. “You want to stay here donât you?”
“Iâm not leaving, if thatâs what you mean.” Giles folds his arms across
his chest and smiles.
“I can have you deported with one phone call,” Wesley says gently. “If
it wasnât for the fact that Iâm not blind to your usefulness as a
researcher, Iâd have made it a while ago.”
Undeniably true and Giles slips off his glasses, cleaning them to give
him an excuse to look away from Wesleyâs eyes, which are studying him
carefully.
“I - yes, you can, thatâs true. I rather hope that you wonât.”
“And I rather think you need to convince me that youâre not going to
challenge my authority again before I make any promises.”
The words are icy but Wesleyâs hands are trembling slightly. Giles
wishes he could believe it was from nerves.
“Iâll - Iâll do all I can to help you,” he says. Throw him a
bone, watch him wag his tail in gratitude.
“Not enough, Rupert.” Wesleyâs voice is lighter now, as if heâs
enjoying this and really, Giles canât blame him. He knows firsthand how
entertaining bullying can be.
“I donât know what -” Giles leans back against his desk, trying to seem
relaxed, and knocks his pen off it, turning to see it roll and fall in
a dark corner. “Damn. Sorry, just let me-” He leans over the desk, hand
outstretched, straining to reach the slender silver cylinder.
“Thatâs just perfect,” he hears Wesley murmur.
He hopes it is. Hopes itâs enough - for Wesley, for the girls. For him.
He grips the pen so hard during what follows that the marks it leaves
across his palm donât fade until after the ones on his backside
disappear.
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