Author's Notes: Heartfelt thanks to my three beta readers, Appomattoxo,
Carolyn Claire and Romanyg, who helped so much when I really needed it.
Spike glanced around the Cat and Fiddle, still decked out in dusty
tinsel midway through January, trying to imagine that he was in an
English pub, as the owners obviously wanted him to do. He started to
count up what theyâd got wrong, starting with waitresses bringing
drinks, and lost interest when he spotted a dart board and had to cross
one off his list.
Ready to scream from boredom and unaccustomed loneliness, and keenly
aware that he had no money for another drink, he felt nothing but
pleasure when Wesley and Gunn walked in, looking tired and in dire need
of something to lift their spirits. “Hey! Over here!” Spike stopped
himself from whistling and settled for an imperious wave of his hand.
They hesitated and then changed direction and joined him.
“Iâm sorry,” Spike said coldly, their reluctance not lost on him. “Did
I interfere with your plans to ignore me? Going to get in trouble with
the big boss if youâre caught fraternising or something?”
“I think you over-estimate your significance,” Wesley said mildly. “Or
Angelâs animosity.”
“Besides,” Gunn said, “for some reason, this is the only table with
empty seats.”
Spike pushed aside the sad fact that no one had even tried to join him,
and smiled. “Like my space. Didnât need to show my fangs to get it
either. Still; could do with some company. Cheer me up after all Iâve
been through and this bloody rain, rain, rainâs getting me down. Might
as well be back in England.”
“Itâs winter,” Gunn said with a shrug. “Not like youâd be out sun
bathing anyway.”
“Doesnât mean I want a gallon of water tipped over me every time I step
outside.”
“You could use an umbrella,” Wesley said, trying - and failing - to
keep his face straight at the image of Spike with a brolly.
Gunn burst out laughing and Spike huffed indignantly. “If youâre quite
done taking the piss, Wesley, mineâs a beer. Or you could just stick
the empty glass out of the window for a minute; doubt Iâd notice the
difference.”
“You canât resist, can you?” Gunn said. “Always with the digs at
American beer.” He shook his head sadly. “If you didnât drink so much
of it, you might sound more convincing.”
The waitress arrived and saved Spike from coming up with a convincing
rebuttal. A slightly sticky silence fell over the group and Spike
rolled his eyes impatiently and began to watch the television over the
bar. Just having someone sitting with him had lifted his spirits a
little; the pub was filled with couples and groups of friends and heâd
been feeling an unaccustomed loneliness. Gunn and Wes werenât exactly
close, but they were better than nothing.
“Look at that,” he said a moment later. “Electionâs months off and all
your bloody telly shows is a bunch of politicians every time I look at
it. By voting night, Iâm surprised anyone cares enough to toddle off
and put their crosses in the boxes.”
“They donât do it like that here,” Wesley said hastily, seeing Gunn
suck in a breath and prepare to begin a stultifyingly dull lecture on
the American political process.
“Donât know, donât care,” Spike said. He gave Howard Deanâs speech
three seconds of his undivided attention and then yawned. “Suppose you
lot have all the big names signed up with you? Ideal clients, right?”
“At the branch offices, probably, but here in L.A, no,” Gunn replied.
“Angel hadnât been in charge a month when he told us to get rid of
every politician on our books. Said heâd done a lot in his time, but
helping them get elected wasnât going to be on his conscience.”
Spike took a long drink and studied the screen again. “Heâs getting
soft in his old age. Wonât make a blind bit of difference. All a bunch
of wankers, in it for themselves.” The television switched to a
football game and Spike turned back to the table. “Not that itâs
anything new. Wasnât any different way back when.” He pursed his lips,
remembering. “Year I was turned was an election year, come to think of
it. Not that I bothered to vote, being dead and all.”
Wesleyâs brow creased in thought. “1880 wasnât it? Gladstone beat
Disraeli?” he hazarded.
Spike gave him an approving nod and a speculative glance, wondering if
Wesley would carry on buying him drinks in return for a few tales of
Angel in his glory days. “Glad you know your history. Yeah; he got in
and it cost me. Tell you about it, if you like. Might explain why
Angelâs got a down on the politicians too; we had this wager, you see.”
“I thought you said you werenât interested in politics,” Gunn objected.
“But go ahead. Got nothing better to do than listen to you, and believe
me, thatâs worrying. What bet?”
Spike shook his head. “I wasnât interested; bored me stiff. Angelus was
like me; didnât give a toss beyond the next throat to rip out, the next
...” Spikeâs voice trailed off. “God, we were a nasty pair. So when he
started ranting one day about how Gladstone was the man, I thought he
was winding me up.”
Wesley looked up. “He approved of Gladstoneâs plans for Ireland, I take
it. Home Rule, the Irish Land Act with the guarantee of -”
“Wesley, put a sock in it before Gunn falls asleep over his empty
glass.”
“I can take a hint,” Wesley said, gesturing to the waitress for more
drinks, before adding defensively, “not that your storyâs any more
enthralling. I suppose youâll get to the point eventually? Or are you
trying to keep us from noticing that youâre drinking a lot and weâre
going to end up paying for it?”
That stung. Spike wasnât denying it was true, but it still stung that
Wes could spot that motive and not the fact that he also wanted to keep
them with him for the company. “Just getting to the good bits,” he
said. “So there we were; him on one side, me on the other. Wasnât the
first time, even that early on, and it sure as hell wasnât the last.”
“Iâm having real trouble picturing you and Angelus chatting away about
politics,” Gunn said, laughing.
“Not surprised. Never happened. He came in bawling away about it being
a disgrace, so it was to be sure, or something similar, with his brogue
as thick as his head, and I made a comment about how he sounded with
his Irish up and -”
“And what?” Wesley said, as Spikeâs eyes went distant and a smile began
to curve his lips.
“We fought,” Spike said simply, taking his glass from the waitress and
giving her a charming smile.
“Go on then,” Gunn prompted. “Iâve seen him and Iâm guessing youâre not
bad yourself. What happened?”
Spikeâs eyes shifted. “Hundred and twenty odd years and you expect me
to remember a punch up? We fought, he hammered me into the ground, the
way he always bloody did and it ended up the way all our fights did.”
“How?” Wesley asked, giving Spike a curious look.
Spike pursed his lips, studied Wesleyâs face and then shrugged, seeing
a chance to get a small revenge for being accused of mooching drinks.
Wesley probably knew a lot about Angelus in theory but he was willing
to bet the Council didnât write everything down in those books of
theirs. “Kissed and made up, didnât we?” he said blandly.
“Weâre talking figure of speech here, right?” Gunn said. Wesley was
silent, staring down at the table.
“Weâre not, but moving on...”
“Yes, do move on, Spike,” Wesley said, his voice tight. “Either finish
this bloody story or leave us in peace.”
“I was here first,” Spike reminded him, letting his eyes linger on the
faint flush on Wesleyâs face. Shocked? Or jealous? Hard to say. Having
gained the small victory, he didnât comment on it. “When the dust
settled, we made a bet on the election result. Couldnât kill each other
over it; Dru and Darla were having fits over us fighting all the time,
so we did the gentlemanly thing and wagered on it.”
“What were the stakes?” Gunn asked, not even trying to hide his smile.
“Youâre so sharp, youâll cut yourself, arenât you?” Spike said
tolerantly. “Bloody comedian. Stakes? Not money; that never counted for
much with us. Not like we ever paid for anything we took.”
“So what did you use?” Wesley asked, leaning back in his chair and
watching Spike through narrowed eyes, his composure restored.
“Blood.”
Gunn and Wesley glanced at each other. Spike had said it without
emotion but it opened up a world of images and all of them were
scarlet-tinged, with screams as the background music.
“Whose blood?” Wesley said carefully, tentatively, as though he knew he
wasnât going to like the answer.
“Ours, of course, you soft head. Who elseâs? Iâd never tasted him you
see; never tasted any vampire back then, apart from Dru when she turned
me, and that was different. Got me curious. Heâd tried to drink from me
before when - oh, look, this is bloody daft. Sick of arsing around
trying to protect his reputation. You both know what he was like. Heâd
fuck me and want to finish up with drinking, yes? Canât live on our
blood but itâs like blood from a Slayer; special. Sign of trust, in one
way, or that youâre in charge; plus itâs something to do to just make
it all that much better at the end there; nice flash of pain to send
you over -” He looked at their stunned faces and sighed impatiently.
“You canât tell me you didnât know weâd -”
Wesleyâs eyes were fixed on Spikeâs face, an intrigued look on his
face. “I...guessed,” he said finally. “From hints in the data we - that
is, the Council - have, it seemed clear that you shared -”
“We shared nothing,” Spike said harshly. “Anything of mine he wanted,
he took - and he never gave anything back. No sharing. Which is why I
wanted to taste him. Knew itâd make a difference. And he wanted me to
hold still and let him, instead of struggling and screaming so he
couldnât enjoy it properly. Real romantic, wasnât he?”
“But Gladstone won,” Gunn said, looking as if he was determined to
ignore everything Spike had just said.
“That he did.” Spike agreed.
“So I donât get why it put Angel off politics. He won the bet, didnât
he?”
“In a way,” Spike said. “Thatâs your lot.”
“ Huh? Youâve sat here, drinking on our tab, promising us a story and
thatâs the best you can do? Tell us Angel and you had a thing, and
donât think thatâs not going to give me nightmares, drop a shitload of
hints and thatâs it?” Gunn shook his head. “Man, that was lame.”
“All Iâve got,” Spike said, with a finality that drew a thick black
line under the conversation. He wasnât surprised to see them both
prepare to leave. Always the way; people got what they wanted from him
and then left.
Gunn rolled his eyes in disgust and stood up. “Iâm out of here,” he
announced, taking out some money and tossing it on the table. “Got a
busy day tomorrow. Wes? You done?”
“In a moment,” Wesley said, indicating his half -full glass. Gunn
shrugged and left, moving away through the crowd and not looking back.
“You can push off, too, Wes,” Spike said, the words sounding harsher
than heâd intended. “Not like weâve got much to say to each other, now
is it?”
“I can stay if you want some company,” Wes said. “And if you need money
-”
“Do I look like a sodding charity case?” Spike demanded. He snatched
the glass out of Wesleyâs hands, drained it and slammed it back on the
table. “There. Youâre done. Now piss off.”
Wesley stood, opened his mouth and then closed it without speaking. He
took out some cash and placed it beside the money Gunn had left and
then walked away. He didnât look back either.
Spike finished his drink without rushing, trying to ignore the memory
of Wesleyâs concerned, mildly annoyed face, and left, pocketing some of
the money after making sure there was enough on the table to allow for
a decent tip when the bill was handed to him. He didnât mind the place,
for all its shortcomings, and it paid to keep in good with the staff.
He emerged into the night, noticing with distant approval that it had
stopped raining, let the fumes that passed for fresh air enter his body
as he inhaled in an automatic check for lurking danger, and began to
walk home.
He wasnât sure what had kept him from telling the story properly. Some
lingering sense of loyalty? Vamps against humans, rah, rah, rah?
Angelus would have laughed himself sick at that.
<i> We fought, he hammered me into the ground, the way he always
bloody did...</i>
Spikeâs thoughts slipped back through the years to that first winter as
a vampire and he shivered reflexively, remembering the things Angelus
had done to him. Heâd learned to deal with him eventually; got the
knack of dodging the sledgehammer blows, come to anticipate the moves
he made when he was fighting; worked out when falling to his knees,
smiling lips parted and ready, would be a wise move, not the prelude to
worse pain than the beating Angelus had been primed for...
The fight over the election - God, had it really been that long ago?
Spikeâs hand came up and touched his mouth, running his fingers over
his lower lip. Angelâs knuckles had split it open with his first punch
and Spike had spent the rest of the fight with his own blood thick and
heavy in his mouth. Angelus had looked down at his hand and grinned,
raising it up and licking the smeared blood from it with his eyes
gleaming.
“First blood to me, Spike,” heâd said. “But you know thatâs not the
sweetest. You taste best when youâre under me, begging and mewling.
Makes your blood fizz like champagne, so it does.”
Spike closed his eyes for a second. He wasnât sure if it was the soul
that made that memory sting, but it did.
“Didnât beg,” he muttered, his steps quickening, kicking up sprays of
water from the puddles on the sidewalk. “Never begged -”
Heâd come to crave it though, those moments when Angelusâ attention was
on him to the exclusion of all else, when their bodies were joined and
he came, sobbing or screaming a word that was never a name,
never...because he knew enough to hold something back, even as green as
heâd been back then, he knew that much. Drusillaâs soft, cruel hands,
soothing away the pain sheâd inflicted as she giggled and sighed, had
teased and tormented him and heâd loved every minute, but sheâd never
come close to Angelusâ strength of body or will. Drusilla would show
him mercy; Angelus had none. Itâd made beating him, just once, an
obsession with Spike, and that, rather than the knowledge that Drusilla
would choose Angelus over him in a showdown, had kept him from leaving.
Never did know when to back down from a fight, he thought, rounding a
corner and resisting the urge to slam his fist against a wall just to
feel the bones splinter and the pain wash away the humiliation.
That fight had ended fast enough though; theyâd knocked over a table,
sending wine splashing and spilling over Darlaâs new dress, draped
across a chair while she fussed with her hair before a mirror, dressed
in her shift. Spike had never worked out why she and Dru did that;
primped and preened before an empty, silvered pane of glass, as though
it would throw back a reflection if she got each curl perfectly placed.
Sheâd leapt up, lips tight with anger and jerked her head at Dru who
was sitting wide-eyed and whispering, watching them fight as though it
was a show put on to amuse her.
“Drusilla,” sheâd hissed, “tame your pet, before I geld him. And you,
Angelus, you clumsy brute -” Heâd swung around to her and got a crack
across the face from a hand heavy with rings. “Resolve this in some
other fashion before all I have to wear is rags.”
Heâd bowed low to her and apologised in three different languages,
swearing to have her decked out in the finest silk, soothed her ill
-temper and petted her into smiling - then turned on Spike.
“You heard the lady; thereâs to be an end to this unseemly brawling -”
“But I like it!” Drusilla had pouted. “Like to see my men fight and
bleed. Makes me feel - oh, all warm and tingly.” Sheâd pirouetted
around the room, giggling as she got dizzy, and collapsing into a chair.
Spike had looked at Angelus and wondered if he was even meant to
believe Angelus would give up the pleasure of fighting, hurting and
winning, no matter how much Darla sulked. Angelus had frowned and then
spread his hands wide.
“Weâll not argue any more about whoâs best fitted to rule this land,
Spike my boy. Let the electors fight for us, eh? Weâll sit back and
wait, like true gentlemen, and place a wager on the outcome. What do
you say?”
“What would you wager?” heâd asked, caution and curiosity warring.
Darla and Drusilla had lost interest in them and were sighing over the
ruined dress. Angelus had drawn him to one side, forcing Spike to back
up until the wall was cool against his shoulders, leaning over him and
smiling. “I have some money...”
“Youâve only one thing I wish for,” Angelus had whispered, bending his
head and kissing the corner of Spikeâs mouth swift and hard, his teeth
tearing open the half-healed cut and his tongue darting out to taste
the fresh blood that welled up. “And I know itâs all you dream of
taking from me.”
“Youâd let me feed from you?” Spike had asked. It wouldnât be the same
as forcing Angelus to bare his neck after winning a fight but it would
be something to savour.
Angelus had widened his eyes, grinning. “More than that, my boy. You
can fuck me too, if youâve a mind to it. Iâll send the girls away and
weâll have a night of it and Iâll refuse you nothing.”
Spikeâs cock had hardened at the thought of it, but heâd learned
caution early on. Angelus loved tricking him, leading him on. “What if
I lose?” heâd asked, pushing Angelus away and wiping an angry hand
across his bleeding mouth.
Angelusâ smile had never looked friendlier. “You give me what Iâm tired
of demanding.” Heâd let one hand trail down Spikeâs neck, letting his
fingers rest where his fangs would pierce if he fed. “You let me take
you, own you, feed from you without struggling. You give me a night
where I donât have to hurt you to get you to obey.” For a moment, his
eyes had filled with appeal but then it flickered and died. “Because,
to tell you the truth, boy, youâre starting to bore me -” Spike had
snarled then, wordless defiance and Angelus had nodded slowly. “Itâs
true. And tell me -” heâd leaned in and spoke the words in Spikeâs ear,
so they rang in his head, clanging and loud, for all that they were
whispered so soft, “you know what I do to you when youâre bad; donât
you wonder what youâll get when youâre on your best behaviour?”
Heâd moved off then, swinging around without another glance at Spike,
leaving him against the wall, hard and aching and hungry for a fruit he
knew was rotten, a sweet he knew would set his teeth on edge.
And heâd lost the bet three weeks later, going out into the frost-sharp
air to feed, letting the hot blood warm him and hearing the newspaper
sellers proclaiming victory for Gladstone on every corner, tainting
each swallow he took until he thrust the woman heâd hunted and caught
from him and let her die alone, not bothering to feel her heart stutter
and stop under his splayed fingers. Heâd returned to their house to
find Angelus waiting in the silence, smiling and sleek with
satisfaction.
Spike stared up at the Wolfram and Hart building, trying to convince
himself heâd walked there aimlessly, knowing it had been deliberate. He
sat down on the low boundary wall, ignoring the rain that began to
patter down, and turning his back on Angelâs own private kingdom.
Losing the bet had stripped away the last illusion that heâd ever get
the better of Angelus. Heâd spent three weeks dreaming of Angelus
beneath him, on his knees, tamed and tortured, taught respect. If it
had been a choice between the stake and relating even one of the
scenarios heâd spun out of air and weighed down with hope, heâd have
gone for the stake and thanked the person wielding it as they struck.
But he wouldnât have to, heâd realised, looking into eyes filled with
darkly knowing merriment. Angelus already knew.
“Going to make good on your debt?” Angelus had said, standing up and
walking towards him with silent steps, his hair loose around his face.
“Of course,” heâd replied haughtily, slipping back unconsciously into
his old way of speech. “A gambling debt is something no gentleman would
ever renege upon.”
The words had merely broadened Angelusâ smile, but even as he spoke
them, Spike found an answer. No gentleman would fail to pay a debt of
honour...but he was no longer of that class, no longer bound to obey
any rules. Heâd lowered his eyes to hide the triumph he was sure must
be clear on his face and waited.
Angelus had prowled around him as he stood and then sighed. “Come with
me.”
The bed in the room Angelus shared with Darla was huge, heaped high
with soft sheets and thick blankets, the thick posts marred by grooves
where chains had bit deeply into the wood. Spike had lain spread out on
that bed more than once, tugging at fetters and ropes until the blood
had trickled down his wrists in cool rivulets, and knelt beside it, his
tongue busy between Drusillaâs thighs as Angel stole the cries of
pleasure from her lips with bruising, brutal kisses. If anything was
heaven and hell in one place, it was that bed.
Angelus had laughed softly and urged him forward. “Nothing to fear
tonight, Spike,” heâd said. “Because youâre going to give in, arenât
you? Going to submit without even trying to fight.”
“Yes, Angelus,” Spike had said, his voice flat and dull.
Angelus had frowned, suspicion rising and Spike had met his gaze
without flinching. Through the hours that followed, heâd obeyed every
command, every order, passive and listless, refusing to respond, and
cheating Angelus of his victory without ever breaking his word.
Angelusâ anger had risen, a cold, icy anger Spike had never seen
before. Heâd waited for the ice to crack and the rage to erupt, bracing
himself for pain beyond anything heâd had to endure, and knowing there
was one command Angelus had yet to give.
When it came, he tilted his head, eyes blank and empty, waiting for the
fangs to slice through flesh and the hungry mouth to drain him. Could
be killed that way? He didnât know. He thought not...but it would hurt.
Angelus had run his hand over the exposed curve of his neck and let his
hand curl around it possessively. “Youâre proud of yourself, Iâve no
doubt,” heâd said, his voice as cool as snow-melt. “Cleverly done and a
fine revenge. Except - will you tell me now, what I did to deserve this
treatment?”
Spike had twisted free of his grasp, anger and disbelief animating his
face for the first time that night. “You won!” heâd said, spitting the
words out. “You always win...”
Angelus had looked at him with contempt. “Get out of here, Spike. You
sicken me. Iâd sooner drink from a rat as taste your blood tonight.”
And heâd gone, dressing with trembling fingers under Angelusâ stare,
stumbling out into streets white with the first snowfall, the bitter
chill striking through his thin shirt, avoiding the stares from the
passers by, muffled with furs, their breath puffing out into the winter
air. Heâd ducked his head, slunk down an alleyway and stayed there
until Drusilla found him, a bare half hour before sunrise and persuaded
him to return.
Spike stood and smoothed back his rain-drenched hair. Right. Angel
would moan about his carpet getting wet, but it didnât matter. He
headed toward the building and Angelâs apartment, drumming impatient
fingers as he waited for the elevator, cursing it as it crawled
upwards. The doors opened and he took two steps forward before the
impetus that had brought him this far died away.
“What the fuck am I doing?” he muttered.
Angel appeared out of the shadows. “Good question, Spike. Iâd say you
were intruding, getting the carpet wet and generally doing what you
always do; piss me off.”
“Angel,” Spike said. “This is important so stop being so bloody minded.”
Angel raised his eyebrows, studied Spike for a moment and walked away,
returning with a towel. “Here. Dry off and try not to move much.”
Spike scrubbed the towel over his head, patted at his hair gingerly and
glared as Angel began to laugh. “What?”
“Itâs gone all...fluffy,” Angel said.
“Pot, kettle, mate, O.K? And I didnât come here to get hair care
advice.”
“Iâm sure you didnât. Mind telling me why you did come here?”
Spike shrugged out of his coat and, after looking at the expanse of
pale carpet, his boots. Angel sighed, but didnât try to stop him. “I
suppose you want a drink,” he said.
“Wouldnât say anything but ‘yesâ to that,” Spike said.
Angel poured him a whisky and watched Spike swallow it at a gulp. “Now
Iâm starting to get worried. Did you wreck another car? Kill someone
who owes us money? What?”
Spike walked over to Angel and stood in front of him. Angel didnât step
back, but he folded his arms across his chest, his face unsmiling.
“Angel, I owe you something.”
“Well, the company picks up the tab on the car so strictly speaking -”
“You stupid, thick headed git, Iâm not talking about now! Iâm talking
about -”
“The bet we had over the election, “Angel interrupted. He smiled
slightly. “Well, thatâs shut you up. Didnât think it was possible.”
“How did you know?” Spike said tightly. “Reading my mind now?”
“Oh, Spike, “Angel said, “youâre a fucking open book and always have
been. Wes called me; told me what youâd been saying, wanting to know
what it was all about.”
“Did, did he? Charming.”
“Heâs loyal to me, Spike,” Angel said. “Youâd do well to remember that.
Heâs also inclined to like you for some strange reason, not unconnected
with you saving Fredâs life, and he thought you were acting a little
weird and I should know about it.”
“Yeah, because youâre so keen on helping me out when Iâm in trouble,”
Spike said bitterly.
“Itâs true I think youâre capable of looking after yourself; does that
bother you?”
“No.”
“You always did want it all handed to you, didnât you, Spike?” Angelâs
face was calm, his voice reflective. “You wanted Druâs love, my
respect, a name for yourself to equal or better mine...and you wanted
it all right away. No patience, no sense of your own limitations, no
caution. I liked that about you, even though you used to drive me mad,
until I itched to stake you and be done with you.”
“I was younger then,” Spike said. “Iâve changed - look, never mind all
that. Iâm here to pay up. A century and change late, but Iâm here.”
Angel stared at him. “You really mean it, donât you? Thousands of
deaths and youâre guilty over a bet you welshed on? Got to love your
sense of priorities, Spike. Anyway, forget it; Iâm not interested. And
by the way, thanks for telling Wes and Gunn I used to have worse taste
in lovers than Harmony has in clothes.”
“You condescending bastard,” Spike said. “I donât need this. Iâve
beaten you once, over that fucking cup and Iâve proved -”
“One fight,” Angel scoffed. “Proves nothing.”
Spikeâs fist sent Angel staggering. “You <i>will</i> bloody
well let me pay this debt, Angel,” he said, punctuating each word with
a blow.
Angel rode out each punch and waited for Spike to leave himself open
before grabbing his wrists and squeezing them so tightly that Spike
heard his bones begin to splinter. Angel eased off and raised his
eyebrows. “Going to behave now?” he asked. Spike nodded sullenly. “Glad
to hear it.” He hesitated. “Iâm sorry, Spike. I canât do it. I release
you from it, O.K? It was a stupid idea anyway.”
“What was?” Spike said rubbing his wrists as Angel released them.
“The bet. You must have figured out what I was after.”
“You wanted to break me,” Spike said. “If Iâd done what you wanted,
that would have been it. Youâd have got rid of me; wouldnât have been a
challenge anymore, would I?”
Angel frowned. “That - that really wasnât what I had in mind. You
thought - Spike, either youâre the fool or I am.”
“What, then?” Spike said. “Going to tell me you really wanted one night
when we could just - oh God.”
“One night where we could just have fun, yes. No struggling, no
competition. I - well, I liked you. You, Darla, Dru; you were family. I
got a kick out of hurting you, sure, but donât ever tell me you didnât
get off on it. I used to watch your face when you came and you looked
like youâd seen heaven some nights. Envied you that joy. I could only
find it through the kill and sometimes that got a little old.” Angel
looked thoughtful. “Only sometimes, though.”
“So why didnât you just say that?”
Angel smiled. “Yeah, right. Youâd have seen it as a weakness - not sure
it wasnât - and youâd have been so full of yourself I probably would
have had to stake you just let the hot air out.”
Spike looked at him. “So, what now?”
Angel shrugged. “Canât go back, Spike. Angelus and his boy donât exist.”
“You know better than that,” Spike said.
“Maybe. Doesnât matter. You, me; never going to happen.”
Spike pursed his lips. “Want to bet on that?”
Angel shook his head. “Donât you ever take ‘noâ for an answer?”
Spike walked over to the remote and flipped on the television. “Hockey
game. Right. Which team do you fancy to win? Iâll have the buggers in
the blue shirts; they look a lively bunch.”
“Theyâre also leading, three - nil,” Angel pointed out dryly.
“So? Get me another drink and letâs watch the game. Same stakes as
before; I win, I get you, you win, you get me - and this time, no
arsing around. One night only, no kiss and telling, and no one the
wiser.”
Angel shrugged. “If itâll really make you feel better,” he murmured,
getting them drinks and settling down to watch the game heâd watched
earlier that was being repeated - the game where the Blues lost four -
three.
Spike might not have had any patience but Angel had. Lots of it.
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