Grateful thanks to T Verano for beta reading.
Blair seemed to like
being kissed. If Jim moved his mouth away for a
moment, just to catch his breath, maybe pull the back of his hand
across his lips to dry them because he loved the drag of skin on skin
and the spit made it all too smooth, too easy, Blair gave a
disappointed whimper that had Jim's mouth back on his a second later.
Kissing wasn't something he did at work, not often. Sometimes, sure, if
they looked like they expected it, but mostly they didn't. Your fingers
inside them, your cock deep and hard, yes… but they didn't want a kiss.
Too romantic.
This wasn't work, though. Jim wanted Blair's mouth and it was scaring
him how close he'd come to begging for it.
He ran his hand down Blair's back, distracting himself from the warning
throb and tightening in his balls -- too much waiting, too much wanting
-- with an exploration of the curve where Blair's back became his ass.
Which was more of an added spur than a distraction, but it split his
attention so that he wasn't totally focused on how it felt to have
Blair's tongue on his, sliding over and in, warm and friendly.
Blair tensed, caught between Jim's body and his hand. Jim felt him pull
back instinctively, pressing his ass against Jim's palm, which had
moved down an inch or two, and then jerking forward which gave Jim's
cock something to butt up against, blind and hungry.
"Blair?" Jim solved Blair's dilemma by shifting his hand to Blair's
hip, holding him in place with a little piece of empty space between
them.
It took the novelty of Blair's silence to spark understanding.
"I told you I wouldn't do that until you were ready."
"Yeah. And you said you wouldn't mention it, but you have and I didn't
stop you, did I? I might even have let you think I was down with it --
and I'm still not sure…"
Jim sighed, resting his forehead against Blair's. Blair had sounded
sure in the heat of the moment, but that wasn't really the point. "I
did, didn't I? I'm sorry."
Want to be fucked on the floor…? Christ, it'd just
slipped out, sincere, yes, but a line he'd used before, other men,
other times. It wasn't something he should have said to Blair. Blair
deserved new words, freshly minted and bright.
"I don't mind you saying it."
It was the first time he was sure Blair had lied to him. Jim closed his
ears to the insistent beat of his own arousal and tried to salvage the
situation.
"When I said I wanted to bend you over the couch, it wasn't so I could
fuck you."
"Then why would you want to --?" Jim raised his hand and let it fall
with a soft, emphatic smack against Blair's ass. "Oh! Oh, right…Spank
me like that." Blair squirmed restlessly, his cock twitching, hardening
against Jim's leg. "God…"
"But I did forget later. Downstairs and here in bed." Jim chewed his
lip, the confession hanging like fog between them, more words needed to
dispel it. "Okay, I blew it. I wouldn't have done it, I wouldn't have
touched you; you don't need to worry about that. I just got… carried
away talking dirty to you. If I do it again, call me on it. Hell, feel
free to do some bending over couches of your own."
Blair chuckled, relaxing against Jim, snuggling close. "That's not my
thing, man. Or yours. And I'm not ruling it out for ever, okay? Not
even close. I've just got a lot to process here."
"I get that."
Blair stroked his hand over Jim's chest, then scratched it lightly,
abstract patterns heading south. "So talk about it -- about fucking me
-- all you want. If you want. And put your hand back where it was. I
like it there." Blair's hand went lower and a single fingertip, with a
short, blunt nail scored a line from the root of Jim's cock to the
crown. "And tell me what you want me to do with this."
Jim rolled away to his back, staring up the slanted ceiling. His empty
hands closed around the sheet beneath them, gathering it up, crushing
it until his fingers ached in protest.
"Jim?" Blair's uncertainty was showing in more than his voice; Jim
turned his head enough to see Blair's hand hovering and his face
twisted with concern. "Did I hurt you?"
He shook his head and let his cramped fingers relax, reaching for
Blair's hand and bringing it down, cupped in his, to rest against his
chest. "No. That didn't hurt."
"Then tell me what to do," Blair demanded. "You're not going to just
jerk off again, are you?" He pursed his lips, clearly giving that
possibility some consideration. "I want to watch if you do."
Jim smiled, getting back a measure of control over himself and the
situation. "You're going to do more than watch."
"Okay…" Blair flexed his hand within Jim's in a question, a promise.
"Just tell me."
"No." Jim put his hands behind his head again and spread his legs in
invitation. "Do what you like. I'm close enough that you won't have to
work at it, so just… have fun."
"Isn't that a little one-sided?" Blair objected, his hand already
trailing down Jim's stomach, the back of his knuckles blunt points of
welcome pressure.
"Maybe. But it's how I want it, so unless you've got any objections…"
"No," Blair murmured, leaning over and kissing Jim's stomach with a
precision that had Jim squinting down at the kissed spot wondering why
Blair had picked it. "I can do this."
He sounded sure of himself and, remembering that little trick with the
water, Jim wasn't inclined to doubt him. Blair was an unpredictable
mixture of bold and shy but he didn't seem to mind experimenting.
Curiosity would tend to drive him harder than arousal.
"Right now, a stray breeze could do the job," Jim said by way of
reassurance and warning. "Feels like I've been hard for hours." He
rolled his eyes. "Hell, I have."
"And you're not used to that?" Blair's hair was hanging down, obscuring
his face. If Blair decided sucking Jim was something he enjoyed, Jim
was going to have to choose between making Blair tie it back so that he
could watch Blair's mouth get round and wet and filled or having it
stay loose, a silky tickle against his skin.
Or he could put Blair on his back, kneel over him, and have both the
view of industrious mouth and the hair, spread over the pillow for his
hands to tangle in.
Choices, choices… but that last one might be more than Blair was ready
for.
"Not really. Good at waiting, but even I have limits, and I'm close to
passing them."
"Oh?" Blair laid down a line of kisses that took his mouth close to the
head of Jim's cock. Force of habit made Jim murmur, "Wait…" twisting to
fumble for a condom in the nightstand, but to do that he had to turn
towards Blair, arching his hips, and that was all the invitation Blair
needed.
Jim's bare cock slipped into Blair's mouth like a key into a lock,
sliding home with an easy familiarity.
Shock took the edge off Jim's response, freezing him in place when he
wanted to push deeper, but his erection was way past the point of
paying attention to anything that led it away from a climax. As Blair's
tongue darted out, flickering across sensitised skin with a delicacy
born of inexperience that managed to feel like the most calculated of
sophisticated teases, Jim felt himself start to come, that final
hardening, the lurch of excitement and anticipation, because it was
always good but sometimes it was special and maybe this time, maybe --
Blair's hand clamped down on Jim's ass, holding him in place, his upper
leg kicking out wildly as he tried to rub off against Jim, caught up in
a renewed arousal.
Jim struggled to break away from him and got a graze from Blair's teeth
that hurt enough to break through the dark haze of his approaching
orgasm. His growl of pain was loud enough to do much the same to Blair
and his cock slipped out of Blair's mouth, spit-wet, thick and heavy.
Too late to be safe now, really, already too late, but he didn't care;
Blair wasn't getting what he wanted. Not like that. Not when Jim had
told him --
He got Blair pinned to the bed with a move that his body had never
quite forgotten after years as a civilian, straddling him, his knees
grinding into the inner crooks of Blair's elbows.
That could hurt if he chose to let it but he had most of his weight
elsewhere and Blair did no more than grimace a protest he didn't voice.
"I told you not to do that," Jim said, his voice cold and steady, need
screaming through him.
Blair's head moved in an indeterminate way that didn't translate as a
yes or a no and he licked at lips that were a shade darker than usual,
glossy and lush. Jim could picture them streaked with come, his come,
and knew Blair would lick them clean just like that, with calculatedly
slow sweeps of his tongue.
Blair had the capacity to be one sensual little fuck, given the chance.
"I'm going to come now," Jim told him, "because if I don't I'll do
something stupid like punching a wall, and you're going to lie there
and be come on and I don't want you to move or say
anything unless it's your word."
He was breathing hard now, voice a savage growl by the end. Losing it.
Totally. Blair under him, a small frown creasing the skin between those
dark, uneven eyebrows, a flush staining his cheeks -- Blair not
struggling at all, not from the moment Jim had laid his hands on him
and positioned him with an economical, thorough use of force.
Blair submissive without true comprehension or a sensible fear, waiting
--
And he had to punish him; by any rules of this game that was a given,
but he couldn't think of how to do it. This wasn't a game he played
often and never with someone so fucking new.
He thought about Sam, which helped in more ways than one. She wouldn't
have let Blair get away with a disobedience this blatant and she would
have found a way to deal with it that would be a true penalty… he was
damned if he was going to do less for Blair than she would have done.
So. Hurt him, but not physically, no. No spanking for Blair, no
gratification, no straws he could spin into gold. And even with
disappointment in Blair chilling him, he rejected the thought of the
cruelest, simplest method which was to give Blair his clothes and kick
him out.
I want to watch if you do.
Well, okay.
Ignoring the puzzled look flashing across Blair's face, Jim got off
him, rolled Blair to his belly and grinned, a tight, savage grin, as
Blair's ass lifted an inch or two, an inviting, revealing response, and
then tensed, the muscles bunching, as Blair's mind caught up to his
body. Part of him was glad that Blair trusted him enough not to
struggle, even though Jim knew, hating that he knew, that if he'd
wanted to fuck Blair, there wasn't a lot Blair could have done to stop
him. That made him move fast, giving the best reassurance he could,
kneeling across Blair's back, not between his thighs, high enough that
most of the tension left Blair. Jim shoved one hand through Blair's
hair until he hit skull and then pushed down, making sure Blair's mouth
was clear of the pillow but applying enough pressure that Blair
wouldn't be able to turn his head.
He wasn't going to give Blair the chance to disobey him again. That had
been a mistake -- another one, shit -- and it was on
his head, not Blair's, which might buy Blair some forgiveness in a few
minutes but right now, oh, right now nothing mattered but the hair and
bone against his fist and the hot jerk and spit of his cock as his hand
closed around it and stripped it, worked it, made it give it up.
When he'd finished and his come lay in thick streaks on Blair's back,
there, on the flat wing of a shoulder blade, with some spattered drops
against Blair's hair, he let his clenched jaw ease, and allowed himself
a single grunt of relief with very little pleasure in it. Blair
answered it with a plaintive, questioning murmur, rolling his shoulders
as if he thought he could shrug off the cooling wetness marking him.
"Don't ever do that again," Jim said with a sort of tired finality.
Blair moved. Moved with raw determination and surprising strength,
bucking Jim off and twisting to his back, which, Jim supposed, going
with trained, never forgotten speed from a sprawl to kneeling up, took
care of the mess. Well, transferred it to the sheets, anyway.
"I won't get the chance, will I?" Blair snapped.
"Okay, one, you weren't supposed to move --"
Blair sat up with a jack-in-the-box jerk. "Until you came on me. Which
you did. Which means I can move now if I want to."
"Two, you don't get to be angry." Jim smiled thinly.
"I'm the one who's angry."
Blair looked lost and totally confused, his aggression melting away. "I
don't see why. You said I could do anything I wanted and I wanted to do
that. I thought you'd like it."
"And three," Jim said, his hands on Blair's shoulders, gripping them,
shaking him once, a sharp shake that Blair rode out, his gaze fixed on
Jim. "You're staying and eating those fucking pancakes and if I've
calmed down enough to spank you, you'll eat them standing up because
your ass is going to be raw, dammit."
Blair's lower lip, full and curved, strong curves, ones Jim wanted to
bite blurred, pushed out in something close to a pout. "Forget it. I'm
not in the mood now."
Jim's hands fell away from Blair, still warm from Blair's skin for long
moments afterwards. "Fine. No sex. So what do you
want to do? Watch TV? Eat? Can I get you a drink?"
He was just the perfect fucking host, wasn't he? Unwillingly, he
remembered the last date he'd had, who'd come here, sipped chilled
Chardonnay as she lectured him on a play they'd just seen -- it hadn't
come close to being a conversation -- and then continued to bore him
when they'd made their way up to his bed. He'd been courteous,
considerate and made her come with easy, smooth, well-practiced moves,
her control cracking for a single, brief instant as her climax
shattered it. And her cat-green eyes had still glazed over with
dismissal as soon as she'd finished getting dressed, because whatever
she'd been looking for, she hadn't found it in him.
He'd fallen asleep in a freshly made bed, smiling sourly as he wondered
what she would have asked him for if she'd known what he did for a
living. He'd followed her verbal instructions and let her ride him, her
full breasts filling his hands -- and overlooked every cue that she
wanted, well, more or less what Blair did, because she'd irritated him
in half a dozen petty ways.
Blair didn't irritate him. No. Blair was just driving him insane with
baffled lust, confusion and an anger he couldn't sustain when Blair was
looking at him with that much hurt astonishment in his eyes.
"A drink? No! I want to find out what the fuck I did
wrong."
"Huh?"
"What did I do wrong?" Blair repeated, his voice tight enough that the
words sang like a twanged wire. "If you tell me, I'll try not to do it
again, but, man, you've got to tell me, not just go off on me like
that. I didn't like it, okay? Anger's a really negative emotion."
"I told you if you did that we couldn't do it bare," Jim said,
wondering why Blair, who came over as scarily intelligent in some ways,
was having trouble working out what he'd done to piss Jim off.
"Yeah, and we agreed I'd wear one but I was willing to take the chance
when it came to you," Blair said impatiently. "Is that
it? God." He gave Jim an exasperated look. "You
really are a --"
Jim cut him off because he didn't want to hear Blair's opinion of him
right then. "No, we didn't."
"Yes, we did."
He abandoned the pointless back and forth and stared hard at Blair.
"Tell me what you think happened when we discussed it."
Blair shrugged, the movement dismissive. "Sure. You said you could get
me off if I was wearing one and I said, okay, but when it was me doing
it to you, I'd do it without, and you said…" He screwed up his face in
thought. "Yeah. You said something about me never stopping and I said
it was what put people off and you said --"
"Enough." Jim held up his hand. "Okay. You think that was me giving in?
It wasn't. It was me commenting on your water on stone technique."
"Oh." Blair fell silent and then tentatively offered a way out. "We
were both right?"
"No, we were both wrong," Jim told him wearily. "Failure to
communicate, and I don't like that when we're doing this kind of scene."
"You still pissed then?" There was a studied calm about Blair that
didn't quite ring true.
"No. It was my fault. I didn't make it clear back at your place, and I
didn't give you chance to explain just now." Jim took a moment to brace
himself and then said stiffly, "I'm sorry."
"Wow," Blair marveled, his voice edged. "That was hard for you to say.
Is it that big a deal for you, apologizing to someone?"
"How big an asshole am I, you mean?" Jim said wryly. "No, it isn't. I
wouldn't have said it if I didn't want to. I am
sorry, Chief. I just…" Blair's clear-eyed gaze hooked the words out of
him until they lay, wriggling, writhing, dying of shame. "I say it and
it means I fucked up. I don't like doing that. The fucking up, not the
apologizing."
Never had. He hadn't been brought up by a man who viewed failure as
forgivable and the army hadn't been all that tolerant of it, either.
"Fucked up implies unfixable and hey, we fixed it, so it's not. Just a
mistake, that was my fault, too."
"Is it fixed?" Jim tilted his head questioningly.
"Have you changed your mind?"
"No." Blair smiled at him. "Stubborn, remember? Either I don't do it at
all, or I do it my way. You choose. It's your dick on the receiving end
and it's not such a big deal now, after all."
That didn't make a lot of sense, but Blair seemed to think it did, so
Jim left it for the moment. "Well, it still leaves us with options, but
they're getting limited." He sighed, resigning himself to nothing much
but hand jobs and rubbing off for the foreseeable future and trying not
to let Blair see more than the surface layer of frustration. It wasn't
pure selfishness by any means; he'd been looking forward to reducing
Blair to a state of speechless and sated bliss and having fun doing it.
He still could. It was just going to be more of a challenge. That
lifted his mood. He didn't mind those.
Blair frowned. "It's only for one night, Jim, and we've already come
once, so..."
"You think I'll change my mind by the morning?" Jim shook his head.
"I'm stubborn, too. Maybe in a few weeks… but don't count on it."
That got a reaction. Blair closed his eyes, muttered something that Jim
was suspiciously certain he'd learned from his mother because it
sounded flaky and foreign, and then said softly, "Jim. If we're dealing
with miscommunications, I have another I'd like to mention. When you
made this a date -- it's just for tonight, right? A
date. Or did you plan on a few more until, well, until the usual
happens and we go our separate ways?"
"I planned on as many as it takes. Can't say I had a set number in
mind." He gave Blair an incredulous look, letting some hurt show
deliberately. "You're breaking up with me? After a couple of hours? I
think that's a personal worst for me."
It wasn't, but Blair didn't need to know that.
He overplayed it enough to coax a smile from Blair. "You know I'm not.
I just didn't… I wasn't sure. Mostly sure, but I still feel like you're
doing me this huge favor."
"I'm not." Favor? Favor? Jim shook his head. "Blair,
I know dating was your idea, and, yes, it's kind of an insane one, but
I could have said no. I didn't. Which makes me insane, too, but we
don't have to tell anyone that. And if you think you're some sort of
fucking charity case for me, forget it."
Blair stared at him, looking a little astonished. Hearing the echo of
his vehemence in his head, tinged with the last of his anger, maybe,
Jim wasn't surprised by that.
"Okay." Blair licked his lips, looking a little uncertain. "I still
think I'm getting more out of this than you, but, okay." He smiled
awkwardly. "We don't have to do anything besides the sex -- I mean,
like going out for dinner and all that stuff."
"We've got to eat," Jim said reasonably. "Doing it together, in public
or here, isn't a problem, is it?"
"People might think…" Blair's voice trailed off. "Jim, come on.
Look at you." He gestured at the custom-built
wardrobe that ran along one wall. "I bet that's full of designer suits,
silk shirts. I bet you know all the right places to go, all the right
people --"
"Yeah," Jim said. "I know some of them really well.
It doesn't mean they wouldn't get indigestion sharing a table with me.
Blair, I'll take you anywhere you want to go and trust me, I'll fit in
anywhere you take me. I'm good at doing that."
"Good at faking it?"
Jim smiled without warmth. "The best. So start thinking about where you
want to go on our second date, if we're counting them."
"I don't really go anywhere," Blair said. He pushed his hair back off
his face and laughed. "God, that sounds pathetic. It's just -- I'm
busy, you know? I get writing and it's like the world disappears and
that really pisses people off when I'm supposed to
be somewhere." He looked at Jim, frowning. "That wouldn't bother you,
though, would it? You work weird hours and you probably get to go out a
lot when you're seeing clients."
"I told you, I don't see many nowadays, but eating in a restaurant or
going to a club isn't that much of a treat," Jim admitted. "And, yes,
the agency's open twenty-four hours, seven days a week. Simon, Rhonda,
me, a couple of others you don't know… we work eight-hour shifts, try
and arrange a day off every five…"
"And I bet there's not much happening in the day?"
Jim laughed. "You'd be surprised. No, the graveyard shift's the third
one, two in the morning to nine. Gets busy at the start and the end,
not so much in the middle."
"I'm usually still writing around four," Blair said. "Don't ask me why,
but I seem to do my best work then."
"You should come and keep me company next time I'm on that shift," Jim
said. "The place is dead after three and it's all I can do to stay
awake. Plug your laptop in and write away."
"I'd love to," Blair said, his face lighting up. He gave Jim a
mischievous smile. "It's a date."
"Ha-ha."
A silence fell, comfortable enough that Jim didn't try to break it.
Blair fidgeted a little and Jim reached out instinctively and ran his
fingers through Blair's hair, untangling it as carefully as he could
until he hit a snarl and Blair murmured, "Ow," and stopped him.
"So…" Blair said. "This condom issue…"
"Blair…"
"We're clean, Jim. And I don't see more than one person at once -- not
that I've ever had a choice about that, but I think it's a pretty
shitty thing to do and I wouldn't even if I could --" Jim wondered how
many people had used Blair as a fallback date, dropping him when
something better had come along, for him to sound that bitter about it.
"So if you stay clean, which you would for your clients anyway, I don't
see why I can't --"
"Fine," Jim interrupted, giving in and knowing it was guilt-prompted
and he'd regret it. "God, just stop talking, okay? You can do it."
"What? Really?" Blair's eyes widened.
"You bite me again, and I'll double-bag it," Jim threatened him and
watched Blair's face glow with satisfaction, though he had the sense
not to gloat. Testing the waters, he added, "And I suppose, until I see
another client, I might as well do the same with you."
Blair looked pleased but didn't react to the mention of Jim seeing
clients. Curious, Jim pushed a little harder. "I don't spread myself
around when I'm dating, either --" He didn't need to. They didn't last
long enough for him to get restless. "But if an emergency comes up --
like you a few weeks ago, well, you've got to understand…"
"I know. It's cool. It's your job." Blair's head bobbed in a quick nod.
"It's not the same as seeing someone else. I'd never make a fuss about
that."
Jim couldn't help leaning in and kissing him, quick and soft. He
back-pedaled a bit. "Clients when we're fully-booked, well, I'd usually
pass them on, not deal with them myself. Simon doesn't think it's good
for the agency's image to have the boss out there working, and I agree,
but that night when we met was just chaotic." He flicked Blair's chin
lightly. "It turned out okay, right? And the few I still see… nothing's
arranged for the near future. Don't worry about it for now, okay? If
something happens and I have to take a client, I'll tell you and I'll
let you decide how you feel about it then."
With a cynicism based on past experience, he gave Blair credit for good
intentions but guessed that the reality of knowing your date was fresh
from fucking a stranger would put a chill in the air. They could deal
with it when it happened. Or Blair could; Jim didn't need to. He'd been
able to see his job as just that from the start.
It wasn't that likely Blair would still be around the next time one of
the people on his personal list got to missing him, anyway. Jim had
listened to Blair's litany of woe about his love life and very
carefully bitten back the, 'You, too, huh?' that had risen to his lips.
Different reasons, maybe, but since his divorce he'd found himself
discouragingly unable to get any momentum going when it came to
relationships. No shortage of candidates, though, and it wasn't as if
the sex was terrible, it just wasn't worth the effort.
He couldn't even remember the face of that last woman, not without
making an effort. Green eyes, long red hair… that was about it.
Okay, he was getting old. Had to be.
Blair cleared his throat. "Moving on…You owe me."
"An apology? You got one. Two's a bit excessive."
"More than just an apology. Restitution." Blair sounded definite. "You
admitted it wasn't my fault, right?"
"I suppose…" Jim said cautiously.
"But I got punished, anyway." Blair looked flushed but resolute.
"That's why you came that way. You weren't letting me watch because I'd
said I wanted to."
"Oh, shit, Blair…" Jim wondered how the hell Sam did this, because he
felt like a complete bastard. "If I say I was doing it for a lot of
good reasons, will that help?"
"No."
"Well, I was."
"You still need to make it up to me." Blair rolled his shoulders.
"Start by scratching my back, will you? It's itching as it dries and
it's driving me crazy."
"Want to take a shower?"
"Maybe later." Blair flopped onto his stomach. "Scratch me."
"Yes, sir," Jim murmured, lying on his side next to Blair, propping
himself up on one elbow, and starting to pick at what was left of his
come, pale flakes of it stuck to skin. "This is on the gross side, you
know."
"Hey, you put it there." Blair shook his head, his words muffled. "It
sounds hotter than it is. Well, no. It was hot when you were doing it,
even though I was kind of freaking out because I didn't know why you
were so pissed, but now I know what the clean up's like, I'm wondering
if it was worth it."
"It wasn't your call," Jim reminded him absently, abandoning his chore
and starting to play instead, writing words on Blair's back and waiting
for Blair to get what he was doing. "It was mine."
He'd got to the 'h' of 'pushy' when Blair snorted with laughter. "Yeah,
I am. Guilty as charged."
"Then I guess I need to hand down a sentence."
Blair gave him a look over his shoulder, the mood turning sultry just
like that. "Or you could ignore what I said about not wanting to get
spanked and we could pick up where we left off at my place."
Jim nodded, pleased with the shift back to familiar ground. Flirting,
he could do. "Yeah. We could. If we're done talking."
"We're dating, oral's cool without latex, my ass is off limits unless
you're turning it red, and you still owe me but I'm thinking about how
you can make it up to me." Blair stuck the tip of his tongue between
his teeth and grinned, looking impish and cute. "I'm done."
Jim was still feeling mildly guilty himself -- though it was wearing
off fast -- but that didn't stop him landing a crisp slap on Blair's
ass, the sound followed by a yelp as Blair bit down hard on his tongue.
"Yeah? I'm just starting. Don't move."
He took the flogger out of the bag and some quick-release straps,
sparing a grateful thought for whoever invented Velcro. They wouldn't
work for a lengthy session, because the unlined leather would chafe,
but he didn't plan on using them for long.
And he wanted to see leather wound around Blair's wrists and ankles.
Blair's gaze tracked between the flogger and the long straps before he
raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"I'd like you held in place," Jim told him. "It's safer. You move
suddenly, and you might get hurt more than you want to be. I don't want
that to happen and I don't trust you to stay still yet. Okay?"
Blair nodded, his words dried up, his throat working as he swallowed.
Jim watched him and smiled. Blair was lying on his stomach but Jim
would put money on him being mostly hard again already.
"Roll over."
And if he wasn't, he would be soon.
"Huh?"
"No, Blair," Jim said, delivering another hard, open-handed smack on
top of the earlier palm print. "When I tell you to do something, you
just do it. Or you can say, 'yes, Jim,' if you're not gagged."
"I just -- I thought you were going to --" Jim sighed and raised his
hand and Blair turned over fast. Oh, yeah. Hard.
He let Blair wait for a while, until Blair was fidgeting, his legs
close together, his fingers flexing, small, quickly halted attempts to
cover himself that left Blair's hands flat on his thighs, framing, not
concealing.
Jim smiled, put the flogger where Blair could see it, and drew the
straps across his hand, enjoying the feel of them, the weight and the
smell. He liked leather. Call him a traditionalist, but there was
nothing quite like it. "Tell me what we're doing here, Blair."
"Not much," Blair muttered. "Waiting?"
"You," Jim said, letting three of the straps drop to the bed, "might be
waiting. I've already started."
"Watching me is something you like?"
"I guess," Jim admitted, automatically keeping his voice low so that
Blair had to listen, had to concentrate. "And what we're doing is
finding out what works for you, remember? And you haven't figured it
out by yourself, so let me try, will you, and stop holding back. Stop
being clever. Stop… watching yourself and analysing it." He flicked the
end of the strap against Blair's leg and noted the quiver that ran over
Blair and the throat-caught moan. "See? It's simple. I do stuff, you
react, I find out what does it for you."
"What about you?" Blair was still too restless for a man who had a
dozen candles and a meditation mat in his bedroom. "Tell me something
that turns you on. Don't make this all about me. I feel… exposed here."
Jim considered that obvious truth and decided to indulge him. Up to a
point. "Stay still, and I will. Because I like looking at you naked and
you need to get used to that."
"It isn't easy." Blair put his hands flat on the bed. "Can't you… can't
you just tie me up first?"
"If we were in a rush, I might, but we're not." Jim felt his mouth
quirk up in a smile he couldn't contain. "And it might distract you.
Fun over fast. It did last time."
"Are you laughing at one of my kinks?"
"No." Jim shook his head, serious now. "Never."
"Just at me."
"Not even that." Blair had relaxed as they'd talked, his palms turned
up, fingers curled loosely, gracefully, his legs parted, his breathing
regular. Jim moved to the head of the bed and attached the strap to a
railing. He missed having proper anchor points, but he'd never really
needed them here. "I just get a kick out of the way you react to all
this."
"Huh." Blair didn't sound too impressed by that, but he subsided, not
even turning his head to watch as Jim attached all four straps to the
bed, using its legs for the ankle tethers, grateful that the straps
were long ones.
His hand wrapped around Blair's ankle, Jim said slowly, groping for the
strap, searching for the words he wanted to share, "You know, this
isn't my kink, not really. I like it enough that I can do it and do it
well, but I don't need it the way you do."
Blair stiffened in alarm. "Hey, don't do it if you don't want to! I
mean it, Jim."
Jim squeezed Blair's ankle. "Calm down. I said I didn't need it, and I
don't, but there's a big gap between that and not liking it. I just
want you to be aware that I'm not Sam."
"Done," Blair said with a fervor that made Jim decide to read Sam's
report again. "No danger of mixing you up. Really."
"She's good," Jim said patiently. "This isn't just her job; she lives
it, 24/7. When she isn't working for me -- and we don't always have
clients for her, because we don't specialise in this, but that's the
way she likes it -- she's down at Club Z. She might even be one of the
owners… she's not big on sharing and I never asked."
"That club was on the list you gave me." Blair sounded intrigued. "Is
that somewhere we could go some time? Just to… I'd like to just see
what it's like."
"I don't know. Maybe." Jim tried to put Blair against the background of
the club, plaid against leather, and grimaced because it just didn't
work. They'd let him in, though. He'd mention Sam's name, mention Jim…
they'd take one look at him and see that mouth, those eyes, that need
blazing off him…. God.
"If you don't want to take me, I could go by myself," Blair offered
meekly.
"I'll take you, if you promise me you won't go within a block of it
without me."
The meekness disappeared. "Jim, I don't need a babysitter, okay? And I
might find someone there I could interview --"
"Chief, they're not there to talk to outsiders. They're there to watch,
show off their toys, play and be played with… and you go there and
that'll be you, too. You'll be part of it, not looking on, and you're
not ready for that, but I said I'll take you and I will. Just -- don't
go there by yourself, okay?"
"I -- okay. I won't. But will you tell me a bit about it?"
Jim fastened the first strap around Blair's right ankle and put his
hand over the leather until it was warm. "Later, Blair. Later. How does
that feel?"
Blair stared down at his ankle without answering and tugged at the
bond. It held. Jim did a visual check on the strap, told Blair to tug
harder, and checked it again, by touch. It was worrying him how easily
he was falling into the routine but he'd done this so many times…
He drew his thumbnail over the sole of Blair's foot, got a protesting
murmur and did it again, slower, harder, marking the tough skin
fleetingly, his eyes on Blair's.
Blair swallowed and was silent. He didn't move his foot into position
but when Jim took hold of it to slide it across the bed to the waiting
strap, there wasn't even a slight resistance.
Jim stroked the shallow hollow at Blair's anklebone with the tip of his
finger, then leaned down and traced its shape with his tongue, feeling
the skin go taut as Blair's toes curled hard. He gave the damp skin a
kiss and glanced up.
Blair's hands were above his head, wrists crossed, his teeth digging
into his lip.
"If you want it to hurt when I kiss you, keep doing that," Jim said.
Blair eased his lip free and licked at it reflexively. "And if you want
me to kiss you, just do that again."
Blair grinned and did it. "You like that."
"Yeah." Jim crawled up the bed and onto Blair, one hand resting on
Blair's wrists, the other taking enough of his weight that Blair could
breathe. "Like watching." He brought his hand down and cupped Blair's
cheek, then rubbed Blair's mouth dry with his thumb before licking it
wet again. "Like doing it, too."
Blair moaned, a startled, eager sound, his lips pushing up to meet the
return of Jim's tongue as it lapped over, dipped between, his hips
arching strongly.
"Stay still," Jim murmured, the answering thrust of his own hips making
it impossible. "Or I'll make you."
Blair's crossed hands moved apart instantly, reaching out for the
straps, his fingers grasping blindly.
Jim reached out lazily and snagged one of the straps, holding it up.
"Want this?"
Blair's gaze flicked from the strap to Jim's face, his breathing uneven
as he nodded.
"Should have stayed still," Jim said, not unkindly, tossing the strap
out of reach. "Now you'll have to earn it back." He got off Blair and
the bed, doing it smoothly, performing, because he didn't know how to
turn that off, not really. This deliberate distancing after close
contact, this prowling stalk around the room as his client -- partner
-- watched -- it was theatrical but effective.
He didn't let himself think about how much he wanted to be back on the
bed, Blair's body strong and warm under his. Simple. When had it last
been simple?
After placing the bag onto the bed between Blair's spread legs, he
rummaged through it and took out a single tweezer clamp, the ends
encased in black rubber. He tossed it in the air and caught it. "Ever
use one of these?"
Blair eyed it warily. "No."
"Let's change that. Hands by your side for now."
Blair obeyed him but his expression was doubtful. "I'm not sure I want
-- uh, yellow?"
Jim nodded and dropped the clamp onto Blair's stomach. "Okay. Sit up.
Look at it. See how it works. Try it out on your hand, if you like."
Blair struggled up, his hand closing around the clamp as it began to
slide off him. "Don't they hurt?"
"That's the idea," Jim said, tapping Blair's fist until it opened, the
black and silver of the clamp winking up at them, catching the light.
"You can control it. See this ring? Push it in and it grips tighter."
As Jim had thought he would, given the chance, Blair began to
experiment with the clamp, his eyes bright with interest now. "How long
would you leave it on me?"
"For moving?" Jim considered that and then shrugged. "A minute, maybe."
"Oh."
Guessing from the slightly disappointed tone that Blair had been
expecting much longer, Jim grinned. "You'll want me to take it off by
then. And it hurts after it comes off, too."
"You do it first," Blair said firmly, holding out the clamp. "Show me."
"What?"
"I want to see."
"You want to see," Jim repeated flatly.
Blair reached out, his fingers brushing lightly over Jim's right
nipple. "That one."
"Blair, I'm not going to--" Jim took a deep breath as his nipple
hardened, tingling slightly. He got out a second clamp, holding it up
and raising his eyebrows. If Sam found out about this, she'd freak…"How
about we both do?"
"That could work," Blair said approvingly. Little shit. "Okay. Green."
"You do realize you'll pay for this -- all of this -- later, don't
you?" Jim said blandly, putting the clamp on and pushing the ring in as
far as it would go, feeling the clamp bite down. It had been a long
time since he'd used one on himself but the breathtaking jolt of pain
felt familiar. He let Blair see how much it hurt, not hiding it, and
then took the other clamp from Blair's hand.
"Tell me what it feels like." Blair reached out, tracing the pinched,
reddening skin with one finger, his eyes intent, his touch gentle.
"At first? Hurts like hell. It's vicious and sudden and it doesn't
stop…" Jim took hold of Blair's wrist and drew Blair's hand up to his
mouth. He licked a broad stripe across Blair's palm and then pressed it
against the clamped nipple, grinding skin against metal and gasping
through the wave of sensation radiating out.
Blair looked worried, his face crumpling with distress but before he
could speak, Jim tugged Blair's hand down until it was against his
cock. "And it's got me hard again, see? Because you can take that pain
and use it."
"To do what?" Blair whispered, his fingers exploring
in maddeningly tentative touches, his attention mostly on Jim's chest.
"How can you even think about anything with it on?"
"It's not that bad," Jim said, shrugging and regretting it instantly.
"These are light clamps and they're adjustable. And you use it to…
focus. To lose yourself. To… hell, I don't know, Blair. What do you use
a candle for when you meditate?"
"All of those," Blair said absently. "Mm. I get it. Okay. I'm ready."
"Lie back, then," Jim said. "And… I'll take it off if you tell me to,
but give yourself chance to get used to it, okay?"
He waited for Blair to get into position and then crouched over him,
licking and sucking until Blair's nipple was a slippery, solid bump
against his tongue. Then he attached the clamp and tightened it just
enough to make it grip, catching hold of Blair's hands as they rose off
the bed and pinning them down until he stopped struggling.
"God --" Blair was panting, his eyes wide and startled.
"Fuck."
Murmuring encouragement and ignoring the constant throb from his own
squeezed flesh, Jim licked around the clamp, blowing on the wet skin to
cool it, reaching over to tease the other nipple and finding it hard.
He didn't bother counting seconds but when the clock in his head told
him it'd been about a minute, he drew back. "Going to take it off now.
Want to feel it, first? Tight as it gets?"
"Yeah…" The single word was an exhalation and then Blair cried out, his
next breath catching in his throat, his eyes closing, as Jim moved the
ring inward in one smooth, relentless push. He held it there as Blair
fought to stay still, battling, Jim guessed, not the pain, but the
arousal threatening to take him over. He had one leg thrown across
Blair's and the wet-tipped cock nudging his hip was reassuringly hard
but he took a moment to press a sympathetic kiss on Blair's chest
before taking the clamp off.
Blair whimpered then, as the crushed flesh protested the inrush of
blood. "Fuck… ow. Hurts."
Jim unfastened his own clamp and grunted an agreement, resting his
forehead against Blair's shoulder. "Wish you'd stayed still."
"Is that a question or a statement?" Blair gritted out. "Okay, that
wasn't -- wasn't exactly like I'd imagined…"
He'd pinched and tweaked them, Jim guessed, picturing it idly and
deciding he wanted to see Blair do that for him sometime, but he
doubted Blair had ever done it hard enough to come close to the
impersonal bite of a clamp. It was difficult to hurt yourself, no
matter how much you wanted to.
"You liked it. And, yes, that was a statement."
"Mmm." It sounded like agreement and Blair's mouth was curving in a
smile.
Nipple clamps, check.
"Now tie me up." Blue eyes narrowed. "You promised."
"I said I would," Jim corrected him. "It wasn't a promise. But I will."
"So do it." Blair reached out and poked Jim's arm. "Jim -- come on! Do
it, man."
Trying to picture the fallout if Blair had poked Sam like that occupied
-- and amused -- Jim for long enough to make his next words calmer than
they would have been. "Do you know what the two most important factors
in a relationship like this are?"
"I know you're about to tell me what you think they are."
"Respect and trust," Jim said, meeting Blair's grin with a cool stare
until it faded. "And until you give me both, you're getting nothing."
There was a sticky silence and then Blair flushed. "I do that," he
said, his voice low. "Mouth off when I'm nervous. I'd say ignore me,
but --"
"I can't ignore it," Jim said. "It isn't doing you any favors if I do
and why the hell should I? I get why you're doing it but that's not
going to stop me dealing with it."
"Would it help if I said I was sorry?"
"Try me."
Blair transferred his gaze from the ceiling to Jim's face. "I'm sorry,
Jim. Really."
"Okay," Jim said, a moment later when Blair still hadn't looked away,
his face embarrassed but resolute. "I guess it did."
He reached out for a strap but Blair stopped him, putting his hand on
Jim's leg. "Do you get those things? From your clients, I mean?"
Jim threaded the strap through his fingers. "Sometimes. Not always."
Not often.
"Do you give it? I mean; people like me; don't you see us as losers?"
Jim captured Blair's hand and fastened the strap around his wrist.
"No." The half-truth didn't make it past Blair's radar judging by the
snort. "Sometimes," Jim snapped, goaded into it. He finished tying
Blair down and got off the bed to admire the sight. "Not always, and
what is this anyway? I feel like you're interviewing me for your
fucking book, Chief."
"That's something I want to do." Blair smiled at him. "In fact, if you
want to make it up to me for earlier --"
"I never said I did --"
"You can let me interview you."
"Forget it."
"Jim, it would be a really good way for me to get to know --"
"I said, no."
"Please."
Jim already knew that Blair could put a lot of appeal and persuasion
into a single word but this one was stripped bare of artifice, devoid
of demand. It was close to the way Blair would sound when he was
brought to a place where that word was all that was left for him to say.
He picked up the flogger and walked from the foot of the bed to the
head, trailing the wide, soft strands over Blair's body as he went,
watching the skin tense to meet it and flush with warmth as it passed.
When the leather lay across Blair's mouth like dark fingers, he bent
over and kissed him through them, and murmured, "Okay. But later. Not
now."
"What happens now?" Blair said, still without any force behind the
words, as Jim stood again, the handle of the flogger fitting snugly
into the curve of his palm, his thumb rubbing against it.
Jim looked him over. "Try and get free."
Blair tugged, gently at first, then hard enough that the muscles
bunched in his arms and legs. "I can't."
"What happens now, Blair?" Jim asked gently, kindly, smiling.
"I guess that's up to you."
"Right answer," Jim said approvingly and let the first stroke land on
the tender, pinched-red nipple.
"Can I -- can I talk?"
"What do you want to say?" Top of Blair's thighs.
"Harder?" Blair followed it with a twitch of a smile.
Jim paused. "How long do you want the marks to last?"
"You're the only one going to see them, no matter where you put them."
"Not planning on swimming? Sunbathing? Wearing shorts?"
"No."
Jim relented. "This won't leave marks, Blair." It
could, it just wasn't going to. "None that will be
there in the morning."
Stomach, low enough down that one edge of one strand flicked the tip of
Blair's cock, making him gasp. Jim put the next one on Blair's cock,
and the next and the next, light strokes with nothing but the weight of
the leather behind them, barely pinking the skin.
Blair was still making shocked little whimpers, trying to twist away.
Location, location, location…
"Trust, remember?" Jim told him. "They're not hurting you. Accept that.
Trust me. Lie still for three of them and I'll turn you over and you
can see what this feels like on your ass. Harder."
Indecision twisted Blair's face. Jim watched him reason himself to
calmness, which took less time than it would have taken Jim in a
similar situation, and then nod and relax.
Better than an apology.
The three strokes wouldn't have popped soap bubbles but Blair was
shaking by the time the last one landed.
Shaking but not moving.
Close enough.
Return to Home
Part Seven
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